Umm...That's Not a Toy

Dear Grayson,


You're going to spend most of your life embarrassing me, aren't you? 

I guess "Playtex" IS a little misleading...

Answer: 1 Second

Question: How long do you have to photograph 5 toddlers together before they start to squirm?


5 seconds....

Liam (19mo), Emerson (18mo), Piper (14mo), Grayson (13mo) and Cole (2 1/2yrs)

4....

 

3....

 2....

Yep, we pretty much had ONE WHOLE SECOND to get all five kids sitting together. And then they quickly dropped like flies. Thanks to Rick and Kelly for having this chaotic bunch over!

There's No Eye in Poop

Grayson likes to make eye contact when he's pooping. Which can take a while. I hope he cuts that out before he's old enough that I need to have a talk with him about it. How would that go? 


Me: "Honey, I want to talk to you about going #2."
Grayson: "Huh?"
Me: "You see, when you stare at people while you're pooping..well, it makes them feel uncomfortable." 
Grayson: "You wan to talk about uncomfortable?! Let's talk about those PRUNES you feed me every morning!"


As you can tell, I've fashioned my future 3 year old as a competent, well-spoken 40 year old man a la Family Guy but whatev. You get the point. 

Today's Poop

P.S. I can't promise this will be my last blog post about poop. 
P.P.S Nothing. P.P. is just funny in a poop blog. ;)

Right after Yesterday's Poop. Stiiiiill making eye contact.
But MUCH happier!

Play Room Conversion

I held Beau hostage 2 weeks ago until he agreed to convert the guest bedroom to a play room for Grayson. I'm only kidding. It was about two and a half weeks ago. Kidding, again. But he was NOT happy about me putting him to work. He broke down the queen bed, moved it into the garage, put all the baby stuff in the attic that was like 120 degrees (his words, not mine) and then assembled the play room furniture, which is from Ikea. Which means 100% assembly. Which makes for a cranky hubby.

Every bit of this was once on the living room floor

Book shelf and fun table/chairs from Ikea - highly recommend!

The tent in the corner has provided
hours of entertainment (for Beau and me)

Drapes will be changed out but obviously there's no rush.
I mean, they're drapes. In a play room. [snooze]

Behind those closet doors is an incredibly organized,
well-planned storage space. Would I lie?

This chest and awfully large jumperoo
have GOT TO GO! Those pillows will be covered
and thrown in that corner for a comfy reading space

That's about it. I haven't shown you walls because my plans are just that. Simply plans. Take my word for it, in my head they look great! I'm currently going for a nautical theme. If it turns into ladybugs and chimpanzees, don't remind me of this post! ;)

Lastly, I came across this plaque when I was moving things from the nursery to the play room. Have I shown this to you? Beau surprised me with it when I was in the hospital for Grayson's delivery. It meant SO much to me! I loved having it on my hospital room door and now I love that it hangs in his nursery. And please excuse the pea soup coloring from this picture - not sure what went wrong. It matches the light green in that room. :)

Thank you Beau Reynolds for only griping DURING the process and then going back to my loving, sweet hubby right after! I can't say that I would have done the same ;) xoxo

The more things change....

Nice spatula, kid! - 13 months

the more they stay the same. :) 

7 months

Baby, it's hot out there!

I have said it about 375 times in the past 2 months but this is the hottest summer EVER! No one wants to be outside - the news just interviewed an ice cream man that said his sales are slow because people don't even want to come outside to buy it! It's TOO HOT to buy ICE CREAM! The world has to be coming to an end, I'm just sure of it.  I simply don't remember it being like this growing up or even a few years ago for that matter....


It hasn't rained either. We will take our water wherever we can get it. This is what we've been reduced to....










ALRIGHT. So these things both would have happened regardless of the temperature. But it's still HOT!

I was the best parent before I had a child...

Before I had Grayson, I had very specific beliefs and ideas about the kind of parent I would be. Now, I laugh! And roll my eyes. And when I look around and see people who don't have kids disapproving of the way someone parents, I laugh! And then roll my eyes.


I think about this a lot only because I'm doing most of the things I SWORE I would never do!  So here are some of my biggest broken rules...


No pacifiers! Just one more bad habit that we will need to break! Whatever. I'm more dependent on this thing than he is! Pacifier = problem-solver. Every time.

The TV will NOT be a babysitter. Yes it will and you will love it.

Why does your kid have a snotty nose and/or filthy mouth in public? WIPE YOUR CHILD! How difficult can it be? Well, if you consider exorcist-style head spinning and needing 2 healthy adults to hold  down one small child to do this (84 times a day) easy, then it's not difficult at all! 

This nose was so crusty it took weeks to get it off.
And it was my mom who finally had to do it.

Why is their high chair so FILTHY? How can they possibly live that way? Why don't they try CLEANING it once in a while?! Ha! Now I know they DO clean it. FIVE TIMES A DAY! And it's STILL filthy. How is there dried beenie weenie on the BACK of the chair?? 

[No photos. I don't take pictures of my nasty high chair]

Why does that kid only have a diaper on?! PUT SOME CLOTHES ON YOUR NAKED BABY. Whatever. I'm too tired to explain why this is stupid, let alone put clothes on my child (for the third time today).

My kids are NOT going to be allowed to throw tantrums. Riiiiiiight, like all those Moms who have the misfortune of being humiliated in public are ALLOWING that behavior. Well, at least most of them aren't. :)

He wasn't allowed in the office.

Someday, he'll be doing this because he HAS to go into the office.

Here are some others I came across on The Bump that I can sympathize with...

"I swore I wouldn't..."

“...smell her butt in the middle of a crowded grocery store and exclaim, ‘Did you poop? I think you pooped!’” --lizzyjames

“...bribe my kid with food, but sometimes Puffs go a long way to making a happy home.” --ironmommy

“...become a short-order cook. Our son was going to eat what we eat, or he wouldn't eat at all.” --Agrippa

“...be a nervous/hovering parent. Yeah, right.” --ITeachK

“...prop a bottle. And I still give the side eye to parents with just one infant who do this. But with twins, sometimes you don't have a choice.” --leslie13510

Lastly, my friend Shelby informed me that this is actually a book. I intend to read it. Once I finish cleaning the high chair, dressing my child, wiping his nose and breaking him of his pacifier, tantrums and TV-watching. ;-)

Grayson's 1st Birthday Party

We had a wonderful time at Grayson's birthday party! And I had an even better time planning it. Heehee. We had an incredible turn out - in fact, too many people in our tiny house! Especially with record high temps (102), which meant no one wanted to be outside! But our guests were all troopers and made the best of it. Grayson did really well with all the people too. I was afraid that he would go into overload as kids often do when tons of people invade their space and toys. Here are some pictures of the festivities and thank you to everyone who came - it means the world to us!


I will add here that I'm devastated (yes, that extreme) that we didn't get ANY pictures of the decor and table that I worked so hard on. Ugh. We forgot to set up the bubbles outside and I also forgot to put the veggie tray out. How do these things go out the window when it's game time?! I could NEVER be a quarterback. Or wedding planner. Anyway, enjoy!

Little Red Wagon theme :)

I made Beau recreate this 2 weeks later. I'm not kidding!

Opening family gifts before everyone arrived!
CUTE onesie from G's grandparents!

The sweetest picture - G with his only living Great-grandfather :) 

With Aunt Chrissy and Cousin Payton

Favors!  

The cake was something cinnamon/Cupcakes were red velvet

The only family picture of the day - so lame.

Of course he loved the cake!

Grayson's face LIT UP every time he got to play with this #1 balloon!

Aunt Andrea came in town for the party! So sweet of her :)

Awesome monogrammed backpack from Aunts Amanda and Andrea,
Uncle Andrew and I-wish-I-was-your-Uncle-Rogan
(that's how the card was signed ;))

Overall, a great 1st Birthday!

My First Garage Sale

Well, we did it! 6 signs, 3 online ads, 4 hour worth of sale and the Asels & Reynolds pocketed a combined $800. Not too shabby, especially if you saw how much stuff we had left over! Our neighbors Scooter and Brittney had a TON of baby clothes (mostly boy stuff) and they were nice enough to give us first dibs. I went through SIX bins and got some adorable things for Grayson! In fact, he is fully outfitted this winter AND next! I'm SO excited. Here are three of our great finds!

Who put this TODDLER on my floor??

Ahh, lobster swim trunks.
I resisted buying them but alas, we have them!

Cute Adidas wind shorts and CUTER duckey slippers - ha!

The Asels have been such a blessing -saving us SO much money on 2 winter wardrobes - and the stuff is CUTE! I washed and played with it during the only hours I was awake yesterday. :)


To bring it back to the sale, I think we'll do it again. It was pretty easy, despite me having had surgery 36 hours before. I had some uber-helpful advice given to me from friends, which made a world of difference. Without that, we would not have been as successful! Overall, the people that came to the sale were very nice and respectful (even the 4 people that showed up at 6:30am for a 7am sale). I DID forget to set my alarm and I overslept but our prep the night before (I even laid out my clothes) made it okay. I miss some of the items I sold (my yellow couch and Bombay coffee table/end table) but I can't hold onto furniture for 5+ more years *assuming* we will have a bigger home and that it will even fit then. You know? That's called hoarding.

Appendix Shmappendix

I woke up doubled over in pain at about 1 o'clock Thursday morning. Assuming it was food poisoning, I lay there rolling around for hours waiting for my body to tell me that it was time to go to the bathroom or to go throw up. I even tried to initiate the process with no success. At about 5:30am, when the pain wasn't going away and my body wasn't "getting sick", I knew something was wrong. So, since Beau was in Houston for work, I called my parents to come over (WHAT would I do without them?!). My Dad stayed with Grayson while my Mom drove me to the ER and a couple of hours later after checking in, a urine sample, blood work, morphine (THANK GOD), drinking 32 oz. of nastiness and a CT scan, the doctor determined that my appendix was inflamed and that surgery would be best. Long story short, I went into surgery at 12:30pm, don't remember much of anything, woke up to Beau taking pictures of me passed out (Thanks Dude) and  the nurses discharging me WAY earlier than they should have (in my opinion). Two hours later I was home and the rest of the day is a blur. 

Thanks, Hubby.

Beau was SO sweet to catch an earlier flight home to be there when I came out of surgery. He has been wonderful - taking care of me, putting up with my not showering and crazy morning breath. My parents have been AMAZING taking Grayson for 2 1/2 days straight while I have rested (oh, and had a garage sale). I owe everyone BIG TIME! Especially since I did the whole garage sale thing and managed to get worse, prolonging my recovery. Oops.


This is my dramatic picture of sleeping the days and nights away...just me, water and pain meds (whose cap I can't even get back on correctly in my haze)....

Annie is the SWEETEST friend and came by to visit, bringing flowers and a beautiful baby! I only got to keep one of those, which since I can't take care of my own baby, I guess I can understand.

I actually had a blast with my Mom in the ER. She keeps me laughing when she's not even trying to. She can make anything an adventure, even something like this! ;)


I'll leave you with a Beau-ism...
Beau brought me Mooyah Burger in bed (yessss!!) while I was recovering and hours later, I looked in my sports bra...
Me: "Oh wow, I still have crumbs from lunch in my bra."
Beau: "That must be what Jimmy Buffett was singing about. Cheeseburger in Paradise. PARADIIIIIIIISE."

First Haircut

Well, I couldn't hold out anymore! My baby boy was looking like a shaggy baby girl, albeit a BEAUTIFUL shaggy baby girl. At almost 13 months old, we took him in this past Saturday for his first hair cut and he did great! Cool Cuts is SO cute with fun, little fire engine chairs, bubbles, lollipops, a play area and each station has it's own TV with cartoons. All made for a positive experience!


A couple of "Before" pictures for you, then some pics of the haircut and if you haven't had enough, we got the first few minutes on video. It's pretty cute ;)

Am I a boy or girl? People couldn't tell anymore.

It doesn't help that these baggy shorts look like a skirt ;)

Holy Squirt Bottle, get away from me!

You cut me, I cut you. Capiche?

Things are under control now...

At one point, we had 3 lollipops working.

I'm a sucker for a sucker.

Finished product!
Wishing it wasn't so short but I hear it grows back.