I want to first thank you for the many years we have spent together (even though you don't know me). An extra bounce in my step, heightened self image, and possibly landing the very handsome Beau Daniel Reynolds may all be attributed to your designs. You should know that, thanks to your jeans, I now get personal calls and hand-written cards from "Denim Specialists" at Nordstrom (actually, this is annoying). I can say that over the years I may have had short love affairs with other designer jeans but you, oh you, won me over with your slimming cuts, lack of baggy butt after multiple wears, and great shades of denim. Because of all this, I have always let you name your price and assault my checking account without a moment's thought. So, you can imagine my delight when I discovered your Maternity line!! Holy denim, you are looking out for me!! No doubt you can change the shape of pregnant bums all over the world and probably have been for quite some time! However, I must tell you that I was plain SHOCKED when I saw that the price tag of this life saver is more than that of your regular jeans! What?! How you can abandon me in my time of need!! No doubt you are probably some beautiful, uber-slim, lettuce-eating, vodka/tonic drinking celebu-designer that you have no idea what it is like to have your stomach begin at your pelvic bone or what it's like to need a new wardrobe with very few pleasant options. Gauging by your pricing of this "Specialty Denim", you probably also don't know what it's like to have to put your "fun money" towards prenatal vitamins and baby furniture and savings and creams for your stomach so that it doesn't look like a cat clawed it up and down. I mean I can't blame you. It has only been 3 short months and I can't even remember what I used to spend my money on. Spontaneous sushi dinner on Tuesday night? Sure! Cute, cute shoes I don't need? I'll take them in each color! Weekend trip to Chicago? Booked! I get it. Sadly, you don't. And because of this disconnect (well, mostly b/c of the insane price of your jeans), our relationship is over...until I'm finished having babies. Then we'll revisit this.
Goodbye (for now),
Your #1 Fan
1 comment:
Psst-one quick note re designer maternity jeans...MOST of them will only fit early on in the pg stage and not throughout the whole term, so yeah. There's that. I found some cute skinny ones at Belly and Baby in CC by Olian for quite a bit less and they are just as cute!
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